1 00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:10,010 [minister] Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God 2 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,099 of His great mercy 3 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:17,060 to take unto Himself the soul of our dear sister Christine, 4 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,932 we therefore commit her body to the ground. 5 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:25,982 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, 6 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,028 dust to dust, 7 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:32,075 in sure and certain hope 8 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,817 of the resurrection to eternal life. 9 00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:36,993 Amen. 10 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,561 [mourners] Amen. 11 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,046 [Jackie] Kathy, love, 12 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,049 sorry to bother you, but do you think 13 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:52,443 I could just go back and say a final goodbye to your mum? 14 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,054 [Kathy] Of course, Jackie, you must. 15 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,012 You meant so much to her. 16 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,187 Thanks, love. 17 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,364 Go. You go on. 18 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,125 So, Chrissy... 19 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,126 here we are. 20 00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:27,870 And I just couldn't bear to leave your graveside 21 00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,132 without saying this. 22 00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:35,138 I'm glad you're fucking well dead. 23 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,671 [Ally] When did we last decorate Ava's room? 24 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,282 Dad helped me paint the ceiling. 25 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,110 That shows you how long ago it was. 26 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,198 - Jim up a ladder. - [laughs] 27 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,808 - Christ. - Yeah. 28 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,462 Should get a new bed as well 'cause she's had that 29 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,594 since she was eight or nine. 30 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,423 So, a... a... a double bed, honey? 31 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,167 Yeah. Yeah, a double bed. 32 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,690 - That makes... - Mm-hmm. 33 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,171 That makes sense for her now. A double bed. Yeah. 34 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:12,132 Is either of us gonna mention how... significant that is? 35 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:15,178 Uh, what, that our little girl's becoming a sexually active woman 36 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,049 and where the fuck has the time gone? 37 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,791 - Yeah, that sort of thing. - I just mentioned it, so... 38 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,054 Good. That's all covered then. [groans] 39 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,361 [laughter] 40 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,885 - [Jay cooing] - [Jackie] Oh. 41 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,757 How old is he now, Maya? 42 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,367 Uh, just over five and a half months. 43 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,760 - Mm. - Yeah. 44 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,805 - He's very bonny. - [chuckles] 45 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,852 They used to have competitions, didn't they? "Bonniest Baby," 46 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,071 like Miss World, but for babies. 47 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,378 - Jay would win hands down. - Yeah. 48 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:44,207 'Cause he's a gorgeous boy, ain't you, Jay? 49 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,775 Are you managing to study all right at the college? 50 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,907 Uh... just about. 51 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,822 I can bring Jay onto campus for tutorials, 52 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,607 and all my lectures stream online. 53 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:56,176 And how is it with Luke being up in Liverpool? 54 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,091 - Manchester. - Uh, Manchester, I mean. 55 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,137 Uh, it's... it's not ideal, 56 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,095 but I'm really glad he was given his place back 57 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,184 - since he turned it down. - [doorbell rings] 58 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,316 Excuse me. 59 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,756 But yeah, he... he can't afford the train or to use the car, 60 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,498 so he just lives on coaches, 61 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,718 and it's over six hours each way, door to door. 62 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:19,024 Do they have toilets on these coaches? 63 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,113 - [chuckles] Yeah. - Thank Christ. 64 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:22,158 - [indistinct conversation] - [both chuckle] 65 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,768 Look who I found. 66 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,554 - Aha. - [Maya] Oh, hi. 67 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,946 [chuckles] 68 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,600 They're taking me out for lunch today. 69 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,342 - Lovely. - [Ava] Holly's treat. 70 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,083 I'm off to a salon in Brighton for a couple of weeks 71 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,780 to cover for one of their stylists. 72 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:37,739 They pay me really nice money, so I'm gonna take us 73 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,436 to that new Lebanese place by the park. 74 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,046 - Oh. - Classy. 75 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,092 - [Jay fussing] - How old is he now, Maya? 76 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,269 Uh, five... five and a half months. 77 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,488 - [babbling] - [Maya] Yeah. 78 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:48,706 [Jackie] Oh. 79 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,100 Right. Where is Jay's car seat? 80 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,276 - Right over here. - Oh, I'll get it. 81 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:59,282 [packaging rustling] 82 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,415 [crunching] 83 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:06,158 [indistinct conversations] 84 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,638 [cellphone beeps] 85 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,466 [automated voice] Warning. Low battery. 86 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,906 [continues crunching] 87 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,084 Excuse me, pal. Do you know how long we got left to go? 88 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:24,742 Um... just over four hours till we get into Victoria. 89 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,615 Shit. Really? Four hours? 90 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,095 Feels like I've already been on here four hours. 91 00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,575 [resumes crunching] 92 00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:37,625 - Do you want a crisp? - Uh, no, you're all right. 93 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,717 Not bothering you, am I, eating 'em? 94 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,066 [crunches] 95 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:47,243 No. No. All good. 96 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,376 [indistinct conversation continues] 97 00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:50,986 [can top pops open] 98 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,295 [slurping] 99 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,864 - [indistinct conversations] - Um... 100 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,824 - Do you mind if I... - No, not at all. 101 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:03,738 Thank you. 102 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,611 I'm Rose, Chrissy's cousin. 103 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:10,658 Pleased to meet you. I'm Jim, and this is Jackie. 104 00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,575 And how did you know Chrissy? 105 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,752 She was a friend of mine for many years. 106 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,668 Oh, yes, of course, Jackie. 107 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,018 I've heard of you. You're one of her best friends. 108 00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,716 You'd visit her in the hospice towards the end. 109 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,370 Yes, I went a lot. 110 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,980 Mm. 111 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,809 So, you must have known Chrissy well, too, Jim. 112 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,246 - Yes, I did. - Mm. 113 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:37,989 She was one of the sweetest people I ever knew. 114 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:40,905 I mean, honest, no side to her. 115 00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,385 It's dreadful to think that she's gone. [sighs] 116 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,648 Very sad. 117 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,434 I might just get a bite to eat from the buffet. 118 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,525 Try the ham, Jackie. It's a lovely bit 119 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,136 of old-fashioned, thick-cut butcher's ham. 120 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,834 [indistinct conversations continue] 121 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,141 I thought it was a good service. 122 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,143 Yeah, and good, solid hymns, too, 123 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:04,276 like the ones we used to sing at primary school. [chuckles] 124 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,974 I don't like these modern hymns. 125 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,716 No, too many tambourines, 126 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,675 lyrics about being filled with joy. 127 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:15,244 Exactly. A good hymn should make you remember your sins. 128 00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,119 - I like decorating. This is fun. - [Paul chuckles] 129 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,078 Maybe you should do it for a living, like Maya's dad. 130 00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,385 I reckon I could rock a white van. 131 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:29,214 [chuckles] Totally. Overalls, headscarf, lippy, 132 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:32,043 smoking a rollie, cutting people up on roundabouts. [chuckles] 133 00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,089 Right. Um, Holly, can you give me a hand with that bed? 134 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,351 - Oh, yeah. - Shifting it over here. 135 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,613 - I need to get... - Yeah, sure. 136 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:37,832 to the skirting board. Thanks, love. 137 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:38,789 - Just this way. - Lift. 138 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,400 Top. Oh. 139 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,793 - She's strong. She's strong. - [laughs] 140 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:45,317 We're getting you a new bed, by the way, Ava. 141 00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,407 - Great. - [Paul] Uh, yeah. 142 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,452 Yeah, it's the bigger bed. 143 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,933 [clicks teeth] Double bed, if you like, uh, 144 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,196 'cause there's... there's room, so... yeah. 145 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,241 Thanks. That'll be brilliant. 146 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,246 Who'd like a tea? 147 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,031 - Yes, please. - Oh, please, I'm gasping. 148 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,946 - [Ava] Yes, thank you. - [Paul] Oh. Thank you very much. 149 00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,077 I'll... I'll make a pot, bring it up. 150 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,822 Thanks for the double bed. 151 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,607 And for not being awkward talking about it. 152 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,609 - You're welcome. - We were a bit awkward. 153 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,306 - [laughs] - Yeah, but it's fine. [laughs] 154 00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,221 Good. [chuckles] 155 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,571 It's companionship as much as anything, isn't it? 156 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:23,617 - [chuckles] - [Paul grunts] 157 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,534 I still think of these baby sweet corns as a new thing. 158 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,840 Well, they've been around forever, 159 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,974 but they still seem like a novelty to me, 160 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,715 like dimmer switches. 161 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,935 Jackie, will I ever be able to make it up to you, 162 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,328 make amends? 163 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:42,723 No. No, you won't. 164 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,029 Right. 165 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:47,597 We'll muddle along like we always have, 166 00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,556 till one of us dies. 167 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,733 But you having an affair with Chrissy, 168 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,823 my best friend, and you never telling me, 169 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:57,651 you can't make up for that. 170 00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,522 There's no redemption there. 171 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,525 - I'm so sorry, Jackie. - No, I know you are. 172 00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,267 You tried to top yourself, your daft sod, 173 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:08,705 but I'm just telling the truth. 174 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,272 And we'll be fine. 175 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,362 In a few months, we won't mention this. 176 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:16,060 We'll watch Midsomer Murders. 177 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,714 You'll make me laugh, 178 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:20,282 and I'll do us some cheese on toast, 179 00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:23,241 but you can't undo what's happened. 180 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:28,420 That is chiseled like a fucking headstone. 181 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,643 Mmm. 182 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:37,212 [mouth full] Rose was right. That's a lovely bit of ham. 183 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,698 [door closes] 184 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,222 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 185 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,180 The, uh, the M6 was a disaster, and then the coach-- 186 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,400 - [whispers] Shh! - [whispers] Sorry. 187 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,794 Sorry. Jay's just gone down on the sofa. 188 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,230 He's barely slept for like a day or so. 189 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,840 [sighs] Oh, okay. 190 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,538 Sorry. Hi. 191 00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,495 [exhales] 192 00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,023 Do you wanna come in and see him? 193 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,329 - Yeah. - Okay. 194 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:16,294 - I haven't cuddled him in days. - I know. 195 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,948 But he'll be awake soon enough. 196 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,429 He's a very wakey baby at the minute. 197 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:21,648 [chuckles] 198 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,301 When do you have to head back? 199 00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,957 Um... I need to get the 6:00 a.m. coach 200 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,872 to make my 12:30 lecture. 201 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,222 - 6:00? - I know. 202 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:33,355 - Luke, should you maybe-- - [raises voice] I don't... 203 00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:34,661 [whispers] Sorry. I, um... 204 00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,666 I don't want to miss seeing him or you. 205 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,406 I don't want to miss being a dad. 206 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,191 No, I know, Lukey, but you're always 207 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,932 on the road, and you're always exhausted. 208 00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,586 I just wanna be with you and Jay. 209 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,370 Yeah, and I understand that, but... 210 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:53,331 maybe you should just think about coming back a bit less. 211 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,701 [metal tapping] 212 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,658 [sighs] 213 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:29,977 [exhales deeply] 214 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,981 [door opens] 215 00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:44,905 [toilet flushes] 216 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,080 [door opens] 217 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,186 [exhales deeply] 218 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,231 - [birds chirping] - [Jackie] Did I ask you how 219 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,711 Paul was yesterday? 220 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:13,629 Yes. They'd been painting Ava's room, remember? 221 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,720 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember. And I was staying with Holly. 222 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,156 That's right. 223 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,990 Jim, can I ask you something? 224 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:28,992 Go on. 225 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,258 Where am I? 226 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,832 We're in our flat, love. 227 00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:43,833 Oh? 228 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,837 Yeah. The Morrison Estate one? 229 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:50,448 No, love, our new sheltered housing. 230 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:54,322 Oh! Yes. Yes, Of course. 231 00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:57,542 - How silly of me. - Not silly at all. 232 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,196 We all need to know where we are. 233 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,721 I got confused for a second. 234 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,897 I've been confused since decimalization, 235 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,508 - so we're well suited. - [sighs] 236 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,647 I'm not right, am I, Jim? 237 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:20,087 You'll be fine, love. We'll get along fine. 238 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,871 I don't wanna see a doctor. 239 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:25,135 [Jim] We won't see a doctor. Can't anyway. 240 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,181 You have to wait three weeks at that new practice, 241 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,878 and then it's just a phone call. 242 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:32,664 - Thanks, Jim. - It's all right, love. 243 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,669 - How's your show? - [sighs] Dog shit. [laughs] 244 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,759 - But it'll do. - Mm. 245 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,772 - It's the worst of both worlds. - Yeah, it does sound rough. 246 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,904 I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time, Lukey. 247 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,299 You're polishing off those custard creams, 248 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:01,041 - aren't you, mate? - Mm. I sometimes forget to eat 249 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,607 'cause I'm always rushing to be somewhere. 250 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:03,739 Do you want me to cook you something? 251 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,176 No, no, no. Biscuits are good. 252 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,875 - Sugar, syrup, fat, and salt. - All the main nutrients. 253 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,267 - [chuckles] - The thing is, I don't 254 00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,748 really know anyone at college, not properly, 255 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,576 because I'm always, you know, I'm always coming back up here 256 00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:16,447 if I'm not in tutorials or lectures. 257 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,145 And then when I'm back with Maya and Jay, it just... 258 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,755 it feels like I'm, you know, 259 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,756 I'm interrupting their routine.... 260 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,627 - Yeah. - ...like I'm a hindrance 261 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,629 and not a help and that they're just better off without me. 262 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:25,935 It was always gonna be difficult, lovely, 263 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,415 but you're managing. 264 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,547 I'm not, Mum! I can't do it. 265 00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,114 There's no way of making this work. 266 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:35,031 I want to defer and then rejoin the course again in... 267 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,859 I don't know, two years. 268 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,861 And between now and then, I can get a job in London, 269 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,342 and I can be a proper boyfriend and a proper dad. 270 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,344 Mate, you've already turned this course down once, Luke. 271 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,476 They're not gonna let you muck 'em about again. 272 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,913 It's worth asking, though, isn't it? 273 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,219 I can't keep feeling like this. 274 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,482 Even if you can defer, and you get a job with decent money, 275 00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:54,094 then there's no way that you're gonna leave that 276 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,965 in two years and go back to college. 277 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,488 Maybe that's good! 278 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,926 No, it's not! Lukey, it's not good. 279 00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:03,364 This course will get you to amazing places. 280 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:06,454 Not just making a good living, but loving what you do. 281 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,064 It's what people dream of, 282 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:09,979 doing what other people do as a hobby, 283 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:11,372 but getting paid for it. 284 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:16,203 Hey, I cansee how difficult this is, 285 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:19,206 'cause you feel like you're losing a bond with Jay. 286 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,685 - Exactly! - Yes, but if you can 287 00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,513 just ride out the next three years, 288 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,124 then you're gonna have so many more options. 289 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,647 - I can't stand it! - No, I know. 290 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,214 I'm gonna ask them if I can defer, 291 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,259 and if they won't let me do it, then I'll just quit. 292 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,870 - No, no, no, Luke. - Hey, mate, 293 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,828 you have to think very seriously about this. 294 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,309 It's what I have to do, okay? I'm sorry. 295 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,313 I'm gonna go to Maya's. I'm on the coach 296 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,662 again in the morning. I'll call you. 297 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,533 Don't do anything silly, Luke, okay? I'm... 298 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,884 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just... I need to go. Okay? 299 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,583 - Eat. - Yeah. Proper meal. 300 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,368 Fucking hell. 301 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,369 Poor sod. 302 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,938 - [inhales deeply] Hon? - Yeah. 303 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,549 Do you... I'm just... just playing devil's advocate here. 304 00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,595 Do you think it might be for the best if he leaves? 305 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:03,946 Absolutely fucking not. We have to stop him quitting. 306 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,122 Look, it's... it's a good course. I know that. 307 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,516 But you know, you can't be this miserable for three years. 308 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,910 But he's midway through his first fucking term. 309 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,302 They'll work it out. They just will. 310 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,565 And it's... it's not just a good course. 311 00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:17,960 It is outstanding. He'd be crazy to give it up. 312 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,570 We're agreed on that, right? Sure. Yeah. 313 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,529 Do you mean, "sure, yeah," as in, "not really, no"? 314 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:24,097 - We have to be realistic, hon. - Oh, right. Do we? 315 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,664 Okay. Well, great. That's great. 316 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,755 Oh. I'll take another biscuit. 317 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,931 [exhales deeply] 318 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:37,240 I am taking so much shit for just two weeks away. 319 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,894 This will be so good for you. 320 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,984 Biggest gig I've done. Might open a few doors. 321 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:45,901 Yeah. You'll have your own salon in a couple of years, 322 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,598 - middle of Mayfair. - [laughs] 323 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:50,645 400 pound for a cut, 500 for a color, 324 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,561 - free cup of tea. - But 50 pounds for a biscuit. 325 00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:54,866 [laughs] Yeah. 326 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,957 - I'll miss you. - I miss you, too. 327 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,352 - [laughs] It'll fly by. - [chuckles] 328 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,531 - I'll call you tomorrow. - Great. 329 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,883 [engine starts] 330 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,407 Bye. I love you. 331 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,061 Bye. Drive safe! 332 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:25,680 [doorbell rings] 333 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,730 - Oh, hi, Jim. - Is Paul in, Ally? 334 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:35,081 No, he's giving Luke a lift back up to Manchester. 335 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,779 - Can I come in? - Sure. 336 00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:40,260 Paul's never really talked about his grandparents. 337 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,089 Well, both his granddads died before he was born. 338 00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,917 That was the way it was back then, 339 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,658 if you were from the class we were. 340 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,965 The men dipped out in their 50s. 341 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,576 Jackie's mum went in her mid 60s. 342 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,188 - And your mum? - She had a few more years, 343 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,755 but her dementia got pretty bad. 344 00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:01,237 I stopped taking Paul up to see her at the care home 345 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,239 'cause it worried him. 346 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,633 Sometimes she thought Paul was me 347 00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:09,115 and that I was her brother or that I was me dad 348 00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,986 or Jesus. 349 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:15,034 Difficult for an eight-year-old to make sense of that. 350 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,036 Thanks, pet. 351 00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,474 - But Jackie's not... - Oh, no, no. 352 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,041 - No. - She's nowhere near that. 353 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,347 But it's coming over the hill. 354 00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,046 I can sense it. 355 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:30,266 She asked me the other day where we were. 356 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,225 Now, that's different from forgetting names 357 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,096 or where you've left your glasses. 358 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,619 I'm so sorry, Jim. 359 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:41,799 I don't want Paul to know because I might be wrong. 360 00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:45,238 Jackie might be as right as rain and just be a bit forgetful. 361 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,762 She might not have dementia 362 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,764 or "Old-Timer's Disease," as she calls it. 363 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,809 [chuckles] 364 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,985 But I wanted to tell you 365 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,553 that I'm gonna step up, 366 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:59,643 care for her, look after her, 367 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,036 learn to cook 368 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,474 and how to do a whites wash in the machine 369 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:08,130 - and how duvet covers work. - [sighs] 370 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,045 It'd be nice 371 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,613 to make up for all the crap I put her through. 372 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,659 Oh, you'll do great, Jim. You will. 373 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,357 But if Paul asks me about Jackie, 374 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,838 I can't not tell him 'cause we don't lie to each other. 375 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,275 Fair enough. 376 00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:24,973 [inhales deeply] I just don't want him frettin'. 377 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,061 Mm. 378 00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,194 I understand. 379 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,327 A long way for him to go to give Luke a lift. 380 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,721 He wanted to save Luke from another coach journey 381 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:36,376 and to try and talk some sense into him. 382 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:40,293 Luke's determined to defer or quit his place, 383 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:43,209 and Paul's under strict instructions to stop him. 384 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,689 You know, for an anxious boy, Luke makes a big dent... 385 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,169 - [door opens] - ...on the world, doesn't he? 386 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,562 I know. He does. He always has. 387 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,519 [door closes] 388 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,347 Hi, love. 389 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,044 Hello, Ava. 390 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,133 Hi, Grandad. 391 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,483 Is everything all right? 392 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,224 Fine. 393 00:18:58,267 --> 00:18:59,181 I'll skedaddle. 394 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,618 Thanks for the tea. 395 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,013 Jay was up a lot in the night last night, 396 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,233 and when he did go to sleep, then I couldn't. 397 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,583 [scoffs] Yeah, that's impossible, isn't it? 398 00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:12,542 Like trying to meditate on a fucking ghost train. 399 00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,505 You still thinking of quitting your course? 400 00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:19,941 [inhales deeply] 401 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,161 Yeah, I've been thinking you're right. [sighs] 402 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,208 They're not gonna let me defer after everything that went on, 403 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,602 and, you know... 404 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,430 I think, yeah, I'm just gonna quit. 405 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,781 You realize how big a deal this is? 406 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,218 I know, but I can't keep this up. 407 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:39,787 And I need to prioritize Maya and Jay, and I need to... 408 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:42,398 [inhales deeply] I don't know. 409 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,748 You need to get it right. I understand that. 410 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,881 Because you're at the stage as a dad 411 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,710 where you canstill... get it right. 412 00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:52,103 But just promise me something, please. 413 00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,280 - What? - [sighs] 414 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,630 Leave it another week before you quit. 415 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,849 Just... just one week. I wanna see if I can... 416 00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,721 do some... [exhales deeply] 417 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,113 Like what? 418 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:05,204 Pull some strings. I don't know. One string. 419 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:08,685 - Okay. - Good. [sniffs] 420 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,645 [inhales deeply] I'm just gonna close my eyes for a bit. 421 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,429 - Keep talking, though. - No, go for it. 422 00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:18,739 If I pop into a service station, do not wake up and start crying. 423 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,262 [chuckles] 424 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,657 I said it ages ago, but Holly didn't hear me. 425 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,702 And then... I don't know, 426 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,182 we were just having a fun relationship, 427 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,793 and it... it didn't seem to get said. 428 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,317 And she definitely said it earlier? 429 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,449 Loud and clear. 430 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,669 And I don't know why I couldn't say it back. 431 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:36,931 Well, do you love her? 432 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,238 I don't know. 433 00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,196 I think so. 434 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,242 No, I do... 435 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,069 I think. 436 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,724 All this stuff is new. 437 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,509 I know, love. It's difficult, isn't it? 438 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,903 Does it get easier as you get older? 439 00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:54,775 No, not really. [laughs] 440 00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:01,956 [indistinct conversations] 441 00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,392 Thank you. I'll see you next time. 442 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,438 - Oh. - Andrew. 443 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,048 - Paul, how are you? - Thank you for meeting me. 444 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,397 I really appreciate it. 445 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:09,833 It's a pleasure. It's lovely to see you. 446 00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:11,748 Um... [chuckles] you know those bastards 447 00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:15,099 in politics, in the media, who use their school connections 448 00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:17,972 to get preferential treatment and sail through life? 449 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,582 Those bastards. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 450 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:23,238 Well, I need to briefly be one of those bastards. 451 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,631 - [chuckles] - [chuckles] 'Cause, uh, Luke, 452 00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:27,329 my... my Luke, uh, wants to defer his place 453 00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,722 on the music production and sound engineering course... 454 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,551 - Okay. - ...for... for two years. 455 00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:32,769 - Two years? - Mm. 456 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:36,077 - Hmm. Okay. - Um, but look, he's... 457 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,209 he's a new dad, his partner lives in London, 458 00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:40,560 and the whole back and forth thing is just... I... 459 00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,388 well, it... it's killing him, basically. 460 00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:43,911 And, uh, I just thought, you're... 461 00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:45,782 you're a really senior member of staff here, 462 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:48,394 so maybe you could put a word in 463 00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,483 so he doesn't get chucked out on his ear. 464 00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:52,746 - You know what I mean? - Yeah. Okay. 465 00:21:52,789 --> 00:21:54,791 Um... [sighs] 466 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:57,011 I mean, I'm gonna need some more details. 467 00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,578 - Mm-hmm. - See? 468 00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:02,712 Um... shall we... go to the pub? 469 00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:06,107 - We can chat it through. - Oh, mate, lovely. Thank you. 470 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:07,891 - All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Thanks so much. Thank you. 471 00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,763 I'm driving, so I'll... I'll just have a half one. 472 00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,808 Yeah. I'm on warfarin for a heart thing, 473 00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:13,375 so I'll just be on the pretendy lager. 474 00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,377 [chuckles] Christ. Do you remember living it large? 475 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,337 Oh, no, I only ever really lived it small to medium, I think. 476 00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,773 - [Paul laughs] - [Jackie] Mmm. 477 00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:21,557 Lovely bit of toast, Jim. 478 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:24,821 - Oh, thanks. I'm quite the chef. - [laughs] 479 00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:29,913 Ah! No, it's not a tree or his long johns. 480 00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,525 - It's the dog's ear. Right. - Mm. 481 00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:33,961 I'm looking for more dog's ear pieces. 482 00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,963 Mm. I'll help you. 483 00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:50,064 Right. What have we got here? 484 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,894 Ha ha! Yes! 485 00:22:53,937 --> 00:22:55,461 - What's that? - The dog's bum, I think. 486 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,680 [laughs] Try it.